THE CARL THE CORRECTOR SERIES

Part One

Sometimes the beginning looks exactly like what you've been hoping for.

There's something kind of funny about seeing a guy on Facebook and thinking, Oh, he's cute—only to realize a few seconds later that he's the son of someone you already really admire.

That's basically how Carl entered my dating story.

I was scrolling through Facebook one day when I saw him. I didn't know him, had never met him, and honestly had no reason to think I ever would. But then I realized who his dad was: one of my favorite gospel teachers.

And suddenly I was a little more curious. 😂

I remember thinking, Wait...that's his son?

Then came the next thought:

Hmm. I wonder if I'll ever actually meet him.

Realistically, I didn't think much would come from it. We lived in different areas, ran in different circles, and there was really no obvious reason our paths would cross.

Except apparently they were going to.

Wait...Is That Facebook Carl?

Not too long after that, I started attending a single-adult church meeting. I had recently moved home from college and was still adjusting—meeting new people, figuring out where I fit, and trying to actually put myself in situations where I might meet someone.

It was only my second time attending when I sat down behind a guy I thought was kind of cute.

Then we got put into the same group discussion.

At some point, I heard his name.

And internally I went:

WAIT.

Is that Carl?

Facebook Carl?

My favorite gospel teacher's son Carl?!

Yep. 😂

Externally, of course, I handled this with complete maturity and composure.

"Oh, nice to meet you!"

Meanwhile, inside my brain: What are the chances?!

After the meeting, I gathered up some courage and talked to him. I was pretty proud of myself too, because this was one of those moments where I actually did something instead of going home and replaying all the things I could have said.

We talked.

It was nice.

And then...

nothing.

Weeks passed. Then months.

At one point, I was planning a game night and thought, Well, what could it hurt? So I sent Carl a Facebook invite.

No response.

Okay then. 😂

I basically filed the whole thing under:

Cute guy. Funny coincidence. Moving on.

Except Carl apparently wasn't done randomly reappearing in my life.

The Number That Apparently Never Sent

Later, I ran into him again at another church activity. Somehow, the only open seat near someone I knew happened to put me right beside him.

This time we actually talked—a lot.

By the end of the night, it seemed like there might actually be some interest there, and Carl got my number.

Or at least...we thought he did.

I had recently switched to an iPhone and apparently had not yet mastered the highly advanced technology of sharing my contact information. 😂 I accidentally hit "receive only," which meant I got his information...

and Carl got absolutely nothing.

Naturally, I had no idea.

So when I reached out later and didn't hear anything, I once again assumed nothing was going to happen.

Then one day, completely out of nowhere, I got a Facebook message from him.

He told me he'd never actually gotten my number.

Oh.

Oops. 😬😂

And that same night, he asked me out.

I was genuinely surprised—and really excited.

There were already things about Carl that made me feel comfortable saying yes. I admired his dad. He had served a mission. Faith seemed important to him. From what I knew so far, he seemed like someone whose values and priorities might line up pretty well with mine.

And around this time, there was another little moment that became really important to how I viewed him.

We were sitting together at church, still very much in the getting-to-know-you stage, when I had this distinct impression:

He's on your wavelength.

That phrase meant something to me.

I had been thinking a lot about wanting to find someone who was on the same wavelength as me—someone who had similar standards, values, priorities, faith, and direction in life.

So when that thought came, I remember being kind of shocked.

Wait...really?

And as Carl and I started dating, I kept seeing little reasons why I thought it might be true.

Tacos, Pumpkins & Maybe a Little Too Much Vulnerability 😂

Our first date started with something we both very much approved of:

tacos. 😂

We both loved them, so already, things were looking promising.

Afterward, we drove to a pumpkin patch for a fall activity.

And somewhere during that drive, I apparently decided that a first date was the perfect time to become an open book.

Because sometimes...I am WAY too good at that. 😂

We talked about life, experiences, beliefs, and some things that were probably a little deeper than your normal first-date conversation.

At the time, I loved that.

I remember feeling like we were connecting quickly. Conversation felt meaningful, and I felt comfortable talking to him.

Looking back now, I can see that I probably shared more of myself than I needed to that early. Vulnerability can make you feel very close to someone very quickly—even when you still have a whole lot left to learn about them.

But I didn't know that lesson yet.

At the time, I just thought:

Wow. We actually connect.

And I wanted to see him again.

Homemade Noodles, Roller Coasters & Holding Hands

So for our second date, I planned something with some friends.

Before we went out, Carl came over and we made homemade noodles together.

Which was honestly really fun.

There's something about making pasta from scratch that makes you feel much more impressive than you actually are. 😂

Then we headed to a Halloween-themed amusement park with my friends.

Roller coasters. Halloween decorations. People jumping out at you when you least expect it.

Very romantic. 😂

And Carl was actually really sweet about keeping me safe from all the creepy Halloween scares.

I felt comfortable around him.

I was laughing.

I was having fun.

And somewhere around the fourth ride...

we ended up holding hands.

Now THAT definitely got my attention.

I liked it.

But I also remember thinking:

Okay...this is moving a little fast.

After the date, we both knew we probably needed to talk about what had just happened.

So we did.

I told Carl that I was starting to like him.

He told me he was starting to like me too.

And then I explained how I wanted to approach dating.

At the time, I had been learning about the RAM Model—the Relationship Attachment Model—and one of the big things I was trying to do differently was slow relationships down enough to actually get to know someone before becoming deeply attached.

So naturally, I told the guy I had just started dating about the relationship book I thought he should read.

Very romantic of me. 😂

I even encouraged him to read it.

I'm sure that was exactly what every man dreams of hearing after a second date:

"I like you too! Also, here's some homework." 😂

But Carl was actually receptive to it.

He said he'd read it, and we had a good conversation about taking things really slowly.

I felt good about that.

We liked each other.

We were being intentional.

We weren't rushing into anything.

Perfect.

Except...

apparently neither of our feelings got the memo about the whole "take it super slow" plan.

Because during the next week, my feelings started moving faster.

And his did too.

I found myself wanting to move the relationship forward—even though literally days earlier I had been the one giving the speech about pacing ourselves.

So much for my carefully designed plan. 😂

And Then He Brought Me Flowers

Then Halloween came around.

Carl came over to keep me company while I handed out candy to trick-or-treaters.

And when he showed up...

he had flowers.

For me.

I had never had a guy bring me flowers before.

And I was SO excited.

It felt sweet. Romantic. Thoughtful.

Like one of those little dating moments I'd always wondered what it would feel like to experience.

We handed out candy and spent the evening together, eventually curling up to watch Halloweentown.

Honestly?

I was happy.

Really happy.

At the end of the night, I walked Carl outside to say goodbye.

And that's when the conversation turned a little more serious.

Carl started telling me how he felt about me, and then he said something that really stuck with me.

He told me that I made him want to be a better man—someone who was worthy of me.

And...yeah.

That got me. 🥹

Here was this guy I was already starting to really like, who had shown up with flowers and spent Halloween with me, now telling me that knowing me made him want to become a better person.

At the time, that felt incredibly meaningful.

Faith and personal growth were both really important to me, and I wanted a relationship where two people encouraged each other to become better. So hearing Carl say that felt like another little confirmation that maybe we really did want the same kind of relationship.

Maybe we really were on the same wavelength.

And then he asked me two questions.

Would I be his girlfriend?

And...

could he kiss me?

Internally:

AHHHHH. 😂

I was excited.

I liked him.

He liked me.

Things had been going well.

We had talked about our values, our intentions, and taking dating seriously. And now I had this guy standing in front of me telling me that I made him want to be better.

And even though our whole "let's take this really slow" plan had lasted approximately five minutes...

I wanted this too.

So I said yes.

Yes, I would be his girlfriend.

And yes...

he could kiss me.

And just like that, I officially had a boyfriend.

At that moment, I wasn't thinking about everything that could go wrong.

I wasn't thinking about corrections.

I wasn't thinking about red flags.

I wasn't wondering whether I should end the relationship.

I was thinking:

I really like this guy.

He seems to like me.

We're on the same wavelength.

And maybe...

this could actually turn into something.

But within days of becoming Carl's girlfriend, I learned something I hadn't known when I said yes.

There were parts of his story he hadn't fully shared with me yet.

And some of those things landed directly on dealbreakers I had already decided mattered to me.

Suddenly, the relationship I had been so excited to begin became a lot more complicated.

Because now I had a boyfriend I really liked...

and information I really didn't.

NEXT IN THE CARL THE CORRECTOR SERIES

Part Two: So Much for Taking It Slow...

I finally had the boyfriend I was so excited about. Then, within days, I learned things about his story that landed directly on dealbreakers I had already decided mattered to me.

KEEP READING: PART TWO →

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