What the BOBA Test?

The Boba Test 🧋

I have this dating tool I like to call The Boba Test. 😂

And yes...it involves actual boba.

But it's not really about the boba.

The idea is pretty simple: when I'm getting to know someone, I want to see if they're willing to try new things.

Not huge things. I'm not taking a guy skydiving on date two just to test his adaptability. 😂

I mean little things.

Trying a food they've never had. Going somewhere they normally wouldn't go. Trying an activity that's outside their usual comfort zone. Or even just being willing to experience something because I enjoy it, even if they aren't sure they will.

For me, boba became a really easy way to notice this.

If a guy has never tried boba before, I might offer him some and see what happens.

Does he have to like it?

Absolutely not.

He can take one sip, discover a tapioca pearl unexpectedly flying through the straw, look mildly betrayed, and never order it again. 😂

That's completely fine.

I'm not paying attention to whether he likes the boba.

I'm paying attention to whether he's willing to try it.

Because I've realized that I really value being with someone who's curious, open to new experiences, and willing to occasionally step into my world.

And, just as importantly, I want to be willing to step into his.

That's The Boba Test.

And naturally...there's a Dating Detour behind it. 😂

Where the Boba Test Came From

The idea started after a date with a guy I now call Traditional Ted.

After mini golf, I suggested boba. He'd never had it before, and let's just say...he was not particularly excited about trying it. 😂

That tiny interaction stuck with me—not because he didn't like boba, but because it got me thinking about how important willingness to try is to me.

There's more to that date (and yes, the boba moment 😂), so I'll let Traditional Ted tell the rest of his own story.

READ THE DATING DETOUR: TRADITIONAL TED →

It's Not About Having the Same Interests

I don't want to date a copy of myself.

We don't need all the same hobbies.

We don't need to order the same food.

We don't need to think every activity sounds equally fun.

And my future husband definitely does not need to have a standing boba order memorized. 😂

But I would love to be with someone who sometimes says:

“I've never tried that before. Sure.”

Because there are going to be things I love that he wouldn't naturally choose.

And there are going to be things he loves that I probably wouldn't naturally choose either.

That's part of getting to know another person.

Maybe I introduce him to boba.

Maybe he introduces me to one of his hobbies.

Maybe I drag him country dancing.

Maybe he takes me somewhere I've never been.

Maybe one of us suggests a food the other person can't pronounce.

Maybe we try something together and BOTH decide it was terrible.

Honestly, that could still be a great date. 😂

The point isn't that we love everything.

The point is that we're willing to experience life together.

What I'm Really Paying Attention To

The Boba Test isn't a secret compatibility test where I sit there thinking:

He took the sip. +5 husband points. 😂

It's really just something I pay attention to while dating.

When something unfamiliar comes up, how does this person respond?

Are they curious?

Are they willing to try?

Can they be a beginner at something?

Can they laugh when something isn't their thing?

Can they try something I love without making me feel silly for loving it?

And can they say:

“Not my thing, but I'm glad I tried it.”

Because THAT is completely different from automatically shutting down anything unfamiliar.

And the more I've dated, the more I've realized that matters to me.

Try the Boba Test Yourself 🧋

Okay, now for the actual tool.

You don't need to announce that you're conducting The Boba Test. 😂

Please don't pull out a clipboard halfway through your date.

This is really just a way to create a small opportunity to try something new together—and then pay attention to what you learn.

Step One

Pick Your “Boba”

Choose something small, fun, and low-pressure that one or both of you haven't tried before.

It could literally be boba.

Or maybe it's sushi, country dancing, pickleball, karaoke, a new restaurant, a board game, a museum, a cooking class, or some random activity you've both been curious about.

The important part is that it's new enough to bring out a little curiosity, but not something that pushes a real boundary or makes someone genuinely uncomfortable.

Step Two

Invite—Don't Pressure

This part matters.

The goal isn't to see whether you can convince someone to do something they don't want to do.

Just invite them.

“You've never tried that? We should try it sometime!”

Then notice how they respond.

Maybe it's:

“I've never done that before, but sure!”

Maybe it's:

“That sounds slightly terrifying...but I'm in.” 😂

Or maybe they're immediately dismissive.

You aren't looking for one specific answer. You're simply learning a little more about how this person approaches something unfamiliar.

Step Three

Pay Attention to the Experience

Now go do the thing.

And don't spend the whole date secretly analyzing them. 😂

Have fun!

But afterward, think about what you noticed.

Were they curious?

Could they laugh at themselves?

Were they okay not knowing exactly what they were doing?

Did they complain the entire time?

Did they make you feel silly for enjoying something they didn't enjoy?

Could they dislike it while still being respectful?

And maybe most importantly:

Did it feel fun to experience something new together?

Step Four

Switch It Around

Now it's your turn.

Ask them:

“What's something YOU like that I've never tried?”

This is where I think The Boba Test gets even better.

Maybe they introduce you to their favorite food, hobby, game, sport, music, activity, or random interest.

Step into their world for a minute.

Ask questions.

Let them teach you something.

See what makes them excited.

You might love it.

You might hate it. 😂

Either way, you're learning something about them—and about yourself.

Step Five

Ask Yourself What You Learned

Afterward, don't ask:

“Did they pass?”

I don't really think dating works like that.

Instead, ask:

Were we both willing to be curious about each other's worlds?

You can also think about:

• Did I feel comfortable sharing something I enjoy?
• Did they seem curious, even if they didn't end up liking it?
• Was I curious about what they enjoy?
• Could we both handle being beginners?
• Could we have different opinions without making the other person feel stupid?
• Did trying something new make the date feel more fun or connected?
• Would I enjoy continuing to discover things with this person?

You're not trying to make a giant relationship decision based on one cup of boba.

You're collecting another little piece of information about what it's like to experience life together.

But There's Another Half of the Test...

I have to pass it too.

Which is slightly inconvenient. 😂

Because it's very easy for me to sit there with my boba thinking:

Hmm...is HE willing to try new things?

But if I want someone who's willing to step into my world...

I need to be willing to step into his.

If he loves something I've never tried, am I curious about it?

If he suggests an activity that isn't naturally my thing, will I give it a chance?

Can I participate in something simply because I know it matters to him?

Can I learn about the things that make him light up, even if they never become my favorite things?

That's the kind of relationship I want.

Not necessarily two people who love all the same things.

Two people who are interested enough in each other to occasionally try each other's things.

Your Boba Test Challenge 🧋

So, next time you're dating someone, try it.

Pick one small thing that's new to one or both of you.

Invite them to experience it with you.

Then, sometime later, let them pick something to introduce to you.

And instead of asking whether you both liked the activity, ask:

What did I learn about how we experience new things together?

Because maybe they try your boba and hate it.

Maybe you try their favorite activity and think, Yep...never doing that again. 😂

That's okay.

You're not looking for someone who likes everything you like.

You're looking for those little moments that show you what it might be like to share a life with this person—to be curious about each other, make room for each other's interests, and occasionally say yes to something simply because the person beside you is excited about it.

And sometimes, you learn a surprising amount about someone from the really small things.

Even a cup of boba. 🧋🤍

So...what would YOUR Boba Test be?