It's Been a YEAR... Where Do I Start?

SO...WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

It's almost been a whole year since I posted on HalainaMae's Dating Journey.

Why, you might ask?

Well... where do I even start?

A LOT has happened.

Things Got Pretty Hard

In November 2025, I hit pretty close to rock bottom.

What started out as what I thought was going to be an amazing job quickly turned into a lot of drama, gossip, and questions about why I had even been hired in the first place.

And whether people realized it or not, all of that took a toll on me.

Not just mentally. Physically too.

One thing I've learned about myself over the years is that my health can be a pretty good indicator of whether I'm doing okay. When I'm around too much negativity, stress, or constant emotional pressure, my health tends to decline pretty quickly.

It's definitely a blessing and a curse.

Over the next few months, my health continued to decline. I started missing work. I was struggling to keep up with normal, everyday things.

And eventually, I got to a point where I couldn't keep pretending I was okay.

I couldn't keep living my life locked in my room watching K-dramas or bawling my eyes out in the bathroom because my stomach hurt so badly.

Something had to change.

So I decided to get help.

And that decision eventually brought me face-to-face with something I had spent a LOT of time trying to avoid.

Medication.

Why That Was Such a Big Deal for Me

To understand why I was so hesitant, you have to understand a little bit about where I was coming from.

I grew up in a home where, if we didn't absolutely need to go to the doctor, we usually tried to take care of things ourselves. Home remedies, essential oils, and, of course, prayer were all pretty normal in our house.

Then I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where I saw a lot of missionaries—including myself—struggle with mental and physical health. I also saw medication sometimes recommended as part of getting help.

So let's just say... I wasn't exactly running to the pharmacy with excitement.

I had a lot of mixed feelings about it. But after a lot of thought, conversations, and prayer, I began to feel some peace about being willing to reconsider something I had been afraid of.

The problem was...

I already had a history with medication.

And my first experience hadn't exactly gone well.

In fact, that experience had stayed with me for years—and I didn't realize until much later just how much it had shaped the way I thought about getting help.

Which meant that when I found myself facing that decision again, I wasn't just deciding whether to try something new.

I was deciding whether I was willing to revisit something I had basically sworn I would never do again.

And apparently, this season of my life was going to involve reconsidering a few things I thought I had already made up my mind about.

So...Where Does That Leave Me?

Looking back, I think that's really where this next chapter of my story begins.

Not with dating. Not with a guy. Not even with some big romantic realization.

It started with me realizing that I wasn't okay and finally being willing to do something about it.

I had spent a lot of time trying to push through, handle things myself, and convince myself that eventually I'd feel better.

But eventually I had to admit that the way I was doing things wasn't working.

And as uncomfortable as that was, asking for help became the beginning of a lot of changes I didn't see coming.

Including, eventually... the way I approached dating.

So yes, it's been almost a year since I posted.

And I definitely have some catching up to do.

But maybe disappearing for a while wasn't the end of this blog.

Maybe I just needed some time to live the next part of the story before I was ready to write about it.

Have you ever been there?

Have you ever reached a point where you realized something had to change—even if the next step was something you were scared of or had always said you wouldn't do?

I'm learning that sometimes asking for help is its own kind of courage. ❤️

NEXT IN THE JOURNEY

The Thing I Swore I Wouldn't Do

There's a reason I was so afraid of trying medication again.

And to explain that, I have to go back a little further.